Post by grey scale: on Dec 5, 2011 21:32:05 GMT -5
Runaway – Thriving Ivory
I am bigger than this place
And so far from alone
I don't believe in your hate,
cause these scars are gonna fade.
I am bigger than this place
And so far from alone
I don't believe in your hate,
cause these scars are gonna fade.
Kurt Hummel walked as slowly as he felt was possible, given he had a set amount of time to get to class, but he didn’t feel in the mood to rush as it was. People lined the hallways, moving to get to class and procrastinating on homework and studies. But Kurt was distracted and he swerved his way away from the other students, minding his own business, surely well enough.
He knew they whispered about him as he passed them by, knew they were muttering words like ‘faggot,’ and ‘fairy.’ He knew they thought he was some kind of perverted freak, somebody who had a twisted mind simply because of his sexual orientation. He knew they thought of him as a monster or a beast or an alien or something non-human. Or a mutant.
Kurt the X-Man. Super Gay. The Fairy Flier. He could imagine their little pea brains getting a hold of the idea and making up less-than-witty little names that he could use should he ever evolve into a super-something.
The thought amused him. Honestly.
They had nothing else to do with their pathetic, meaningless little lives. No – not meaningless. Kurt chastised himself for thinking that, because it would make him a hypocrite. They called him meaningless, worthless – he wouldn’t let them have any such satisfaction.
A little thought fluttered through his mind as he rounded a corner and found himself face-to-face with his French classroom. Courage. Blaine had told him often enough that the key to being above them, all of those people who hated him for who he was and how proud he was of it, was being brave enough to hold his head high and walk through the hallways without giving them even a glance.
Nobody could toss a Slushie in Kurt Hummel’s face ever again.
Vanilla Twilight – Owl City
I’ll watch the night turn light blue,
But it’s not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly.
Blaine turned over for the umpteenth time. He couldn’t sleep. He felt utterly distracted. The only light in his bedroom was coming from the screen saver on his phone. Kurt hadn’t texted back in… (He checked the times of their last texts and sighed)…eight minutes. Had he fallen asleep? Did he forget to text back? Blaine cursed himself for being such a, well, such a girl. He was acting like such a girl!
He refused to text him again. He wasn’t going to seem like a desperate little boy wanting attention from his little boyfriend. That was not how it was going to work. Blaine was going to sit here and take the boredom like a man.
But he really, really wanted to talk to Kurt.
Blaine sat up and turned his phone over in his hands, sighing deeply. His will was absolutely terrible when this boy was involved. His fingers danced over the keypad as he typed in the number that had become engraved into the back of his mind. He put the phone to his ear and leaned against the back of his headboard.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“Hello?” Kurt sounded confused, but not entirely sleepy, so Blaine hadn’t woken him up. Good. Blaine took a deep breath before speaking.
“I wish you were here.”
Your Call – Secondhand Serenade
I was born to tell you
I love you.
They sat in the Bean the first time Blaine told Kurt that he loved him. Kurt’s head had filled with a cloud of confusion for a minute, and when it had passed he immediately blurted out, “I love you, too.” It hadn’t been impulsive, and it certainly hadn’t been insincere. Kurt had been thinking about Blaine and how he felt about him a lot lately. He’d thought he was in love from the beginning, but he hadn’t been. He had been infatuated, simply infatuated, but it had grown. Kurt couldn’t put his finger on the moment when it had matured as it had, but he knew the moment when he’d realized its depths. When they’d attended the New Directions benefit concert, although that was a loose definition, and Karofsky had confronted them, Blaine had spent the following ten minutes ranting about his ignorance and cowardess. Kurt hadn’t listened – he would be the first to admit it. He’d just watched Blaine, getting as worked up as a vexed kitten – that was exactly what he’d imagined, although he figured Blaine wouldn’t like it much if he knew that. And then he knew that he loved Blaine Anderson, and that he could watch him ranting and raving and spieling about nothing for the rest of his life and he’d be completely content.
The next three times it was said, Blaine was the one to initiate it. Kurt couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to say it first. He wanted to, so badly it felt like it would just burst from his mouth and spill over until he said it continuously for the rest of his life. But every time he tried, they got caught somewhere in the filter of his brain. If he always says it first, and you ever break up… his mind told him, then you can play it off. Say you never meant any of it.
There came a point when this just wasn’t enough of a reason for Kurt. He had a breaking limit, and it was here, with this boy.
They sat on Kurt’s couch one day, watching old Disney movies and laughing about the terribly hidden innuendos that younger children never caught onto. Blaine held Kurt’s hand and laughed at something Buzz Lightyear said, and Kurt just felt it.
“I love you.”
Blaine looked at Kurt and smiled, squeezing his hand and leaning into his shoulder. “I love you too.”
It was easy. Kurt just smiled back at him and looked back at the movie, feeling like a huge pressure had been lifted from his shoulders. Loving Blaine was easy. Why shouldn’t telling him so be the same?
Let the Flames Begin – Paramore
This is how we’ll dance when,
when they try to take us down.
This is how we’ll dance when,
when they try to take us down.
They stood in the town green, talking quietly amongst themselves about dreams. Dreams of New York and Broadway and university, anything but little old Lima, Ohio. They didn’t hold hands, didn’t even touch – dancing together at Prom was one thing, but PDA among the whole wide world was a different matter entirely. High school students were petty. Real people, real life – they could be unutterably cruel.
To everybody else they were just two guys, very possibly best friends, talking and laughing and hanging out. But they were in love, and if you looked close enough, you could see it.
The whispers of those who did notice were harsh, usually. Not many people were exactly understanding of their situation. One face smiled at them, a middle aged woman pushing a child stroller, but the man by her side gave them an odd look and inconspicuously steered them away.
But they didn’t care. In the moment, they were talking about a life with Rachel, and maybe Finn. It was a different world from the one where they were; it wasn’t a small town where you were easily recognized and judged. New York was an endless sea of people and opportunities. They could just dive in and disappear, but they could still resurface when they wanted. It was the perfect scenario for them. They could be free.
The whispering voices died away as plans for a better future, one that would rise above their present, planted seeds in the minds of the youth who, without a doubt, could make it happen.