If I lose myself tonight, it'll be by your side.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I clenched my jaw, "Ridley it does matter!" I yelled, taking her face in my hand. "You have no idea what you're doing. You saw how messed up I was. You know how hurt you were. You're doing the same damn thing to me Ridley." I snapped.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
"Don't touch me,"I growled as I took his hands putting them to his sides. I understood what he was saying but the addiction was far more controlling right now

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
"Give me them, Ridley." I hissed. "I'm trying really hard to control my temper right now, but you're making it extremely difficult. I am trying to help you." Of course she wouldn't understand. Once you were addicted you didn't care what anyone said.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
My eyes widened,"No!"I said placing my hands against his chest, trying to push him out of the bathroom. I wanted to shut him out, lock the door. But I knew he could easily open it. If he took these away from me... I would go crazy

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I wanted to so badly just grab her and slam her against the wall, to wake her up, but I couldn't. "Ridley please! This isn't making me feel good, it may make you feel good temporarily but you'll get sick. I don't want to go through this again." I practically begged. "Please."

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I sniffed and wiped my nose,"I can't,"I said as I turned away from him and began to clean up my mess. I couldn't stop it. I just couldn't. It wouldn't let me. I began to breathe deeply to calm myself down.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I just watched her, unable to do anything else. I was mad as hell, but yet I just wanted to cry. I couldn't imagine her living the life I used to live. Part of me said this was my fault-I brought her into the world of drugs. But I never told her to do them. "You have to stop. For me," I said quietly.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I shut my eyes tightly as I sunk to the floor,"I can't,"I whispered,"I need it,"I said hugging myself feeling the need for it now. It calmed me, it took the fear away of the unknown. Of the cancer.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I sighed, kneeling down next to her. "No you don't. Do you remember when I was addicted? You said I didn't need it, you said I could find another release, and I did. I did it for you Ridley. You have to do this. Not just for me but for yourself. You can find another release. I know you don't want to go back to the hospital." I said calmly.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I shook my head,"There's no other release to take this fear and anger I have towards the unknown,"I gasped as I gripped my head. "It helps me,"I choked. It made me feel alive and that's what I want to feel. Alive.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
"Ridley it's killing you. Whether you want to accept it or not the more you take it the worse you'll start to feel. The high is only temporary." I knew that I wouldn't be able to get it through her head until she was in the hospital again.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
"No,"I snapped at him,"It's not killing me,"I said feeling defeated. I just wanted him to leave so I could carry on. I would have been in a much better mood if he had never came in here and ruined everything.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
"So do you expect me to just let you keep doing this? To have me go walk into another room and let you do this, and me having to act like I don't care? You and I both know there's no way in hell I can do that." I said, standing back up. I ran my hands through my hair, closing my eyes as I groaned. She was being so stubborn.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
"That's what I was hoping for,"I mumbled quietly. I breathed in deeply feeling like I'm being treated like a child. But then again, maybe I was really acting like a child...

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I looked down at her, sucking in a breath. I felt sick. "Ridley I love you too much to lose you. I love you so much, but right now you're breaking me." I admitted.