If I lose myself tonight, it'll be by your side.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I stayed quiet as his words hit me. I was hurting him. That's all I'm ever really good at these days. Hurting the people I love. I couldn't feel them but I knew I was crying quietly. "It's so hard Gavin. Trying to keep you happy when I'm such a fuck up. I've put you through so much,"I said covering my face. I felt like shit. I felt like I shouldn't even be here. I felt broken myself.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I hated when she talked about herself like this. "No you aren't Ridley. It wasn't your fault that these things happened to you. I told you that I would be with you no matter what, even through rough times. We've made it past so many obstacles and I still love you like I did the day I first met you." I said, turning her to face me. "You have to realize that."

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I tried wiping my tears away but more just kept coming,"You're too good for me,"I said quietly as I looked at him. He was blurry but I knew every feature that was there. I sighed deeply knowing that it would be extremely hard and bad for me to stop this.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
"Don't you even think that. Hell Ridley I can say the same about you. I don't deserve you at all. So we're both on the same page. But I know that we both love each other." I just wanted her to understand.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
His voice was making me feel worse and worse,"Im sorry, I'm sorry,"I repeated hugging myself. I didn't mean to cause any drama, any pain.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I pulled her into my arms, "It's okay Ridley." I whispered, rubbing her back. "It'll be okay. But you have to stop. You have to ease of out this." It was a living hell trying to get me to stop, but I did and it made me feel so much better.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I cuddled up to him, burying my face into his chest,"I don't know if I can do it,"I crooked out. Just thinking about it made me want to be sick.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I rubbed her back, "I know you can. We can do is slowly. I'll be with you every step of the way. Don't worry." I kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry for yelling at you baby."

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I sighed deeply, closing my eyes,"Im sorry for yelling also,"I murmured quietly. I didn't want to think about anything right now. If I did it would just make me sick of the thought of having to throw all of it away. I turned my head slightly looking at everything sprawled on the ground.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I looked down at the floor as well, seeing the mess. "Let's clean this up, okay?" I said. I kissed her forehead, "We can fix this."

[lauren.]

Ridley.
"A-are we getting rid of it now?"I asked my heart starting to pound. I couldn't just stop now. I would probably flip out.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I sighed, "I'd like to, but because I know how withdrawal works, no. But we will get rid of it slowly." I said, "I just want it cleaned up."

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I sighed with slight relief. I pulled away from Gavin and began to clean up the mess on the floor. I had wasted a whole line that was now sprinkled on the floor. I was angry that I had dropped it.

[haileyjordan]

Gavin,
I felt sick, and disappointed. "Where did you get this?" I asked quietly. How was she affording this? It scared me-I didn't want to know the extent she was going to get this.

[lauren.]

Ridley.
I didn't want to tell him. I wasn't going to tell him. He'd be completely pissed and more disappointed than he already was. "I don't want to say,"I mumbled.